Guest Article: Weird-wired Fantasies I Wish Novels Had

I am an ardent reader and I have read countless books ranging from the unknowns to the latest bestsellers. Although books (be it novels, fiction or non-fiction) are expensive in Malaysia and Malaysians are not really fanatics in reading, I am categorized among those who read like there is no tomorrow.

But, I realize something missing each time I finished a book. Not interesting enough, the first few pages made me nod off, the ending was to rushed, as well as the plot was unconvincing and predictable. Of course, there are a few that I must really applaud, like Confessions of A Shopaholic and In Her Shoes, but if there are more exciting moments in there, they would blast off and earn more money than JK Rowling.

Take Confessions of A Shopaholic for example, what if the bank, Derek Smeath got so fed up he sued her in court and her news was everywhere around the world. She got into jail for three or more months and her properties were freeze. When she got back out, she was embarrassed to go back to her parents, so she lived on the streets at the mercy of others. She was kidnapped to Vietnam as a slave.

During the journey in a ship, to avoid suspicion, the kidnappers put her into a large box with pigs, claiming that they need to transfer them to a farm. She saw Luke Brandon from the holes in the box. Luke was looking for her, wanted to save her but Becky was too afraid to approach her. Devastated, Luke grabbed the microphone from a DJ who was entertaining the crowd and shouted, “Rebecca, I know you are here…” and all that lovey-dovey craps. Becky, touched began to knock and pounced on the box.

The kidnappers were mad, more than mad. When everyone started looking at the box, the kidnappers pushed the large box into the sea. Luke jumped in and tried to save her, forgetting that he doesn’t know how to swim. They sink further and further.  The first thing Luke saw when he woke up was a girl with braces, yellow teeth, large eyes with glasses, stinking breath and pimples. Large disgusting pimples.

He tried to push her away but she was….huge. Big, bulky muscles. OK, this doesn’t look good, he thought to himself. Apparently, he was saved by this ‘maiden’ who found him on the shore. He asked about Becky. She jealously exclaimed that that brat was with their ‘handsome, fantastic’ master. Once he managed to get past that servant, he heard from the others that the master will be marrying Becky and what’s really bad is the master already had fifteen wives. And the master isn’t as good looking as he is, so why on Earth does Becky wants to marry him?

Turned out that, Becky suffered lost of memory when she knocked hard onto the wooden box when it was harshly pushed by the kidnappers. When she woke up, the master proclaimed that she was his fiancée and they were to marry the next day. Becky believed him.

Now it was up to Luke’s luck and capability to save her from this turmoil, from this man who will risk anything to own her. Meanwhile, he has to fight off a marriage between him and the servant, if not his head will be chopped off severely.

OK, maybe I have put it off too far but stories like this attract me. The more fascinating and impossible, the more unpredictable, the funnier it is, I will gorge through it in a day without eating or bathing. Books, especially novels need to be more open and put in more action, more love triangle, more tears, we don’t mind. All we want is a good book which we will remember till the day we die.

This guest post is written by Arrica Lee (http://arricalee.com). Besides going to school, she helps advertisers to advertise their sites/products. She hopes that her rotten sense of humor will light up someone’s day.